Despite how fast society and our culture moves and changes these days, what with trends, new ideas, and technology always being released, there’s always a group of people who are lagging
far behind the rest of us. For whatever reason, they’re slow to adapt to change or just don’t care enough.
Take sexting, for instance; how many leaks have there been of nude
pictures, dick pics, and sexting scandals? Too many to count.
Some people are just really, really bad at sexting. Either
they don’t really understand what it’s about, or they treat it like regular texting and go through no safety measures to ensure the content isn’t leaked.
I think now is a good
time to share with you 5 people who don’t get sexting, and for a variety of reasons. Let’s hope this isn’t too cringe-worthy.
1. Anthony Weiner:
For the majority
of us, the first time we’d ever heard of the guy was when we saw his junk all over the internet and on the news. This guy was a Congressman who had sent a picture of his lower region
to a women who followed him on Twitter, so clearly we’re electing the right people.
What made this worse was that he’s married, so now it’s not only a sexting leak scandal
of an elected official, but the guy was cheating on his wife (not sure if Twitter hoes are worth it, although I’m not endorsing cheating at all; that’s not cool, yo!)
So the
guy has ruined his reputation and resigns from Congress. You think his story is over…. flash forward two years.
It’s 2013 and everyone has forgotten about Anthony Weiner, until
one fateful day. The media erupts with another scandal, and now everyone is talking about some guy who used an alias called Carlos Danger to have affairs with multiple women.
What made this so special? Anthony Weiner is Carlos Danger (he’s also a complete f*cking idiot).
The guy ruins his own life, goes
into hiding, comes out and tries to run for mayor of New York. At this same time, he’s sexting with three different women over the course of a few months, and before long we all hear
about it again.
Carlos Danger isn’t bad at sexting, obviously. He’s just an awful decision maker, who not only cheated on his wife many times, but he didn’t do anything to
safeguard himself and make sure his personal life stays private, no matter how unethical he may have behaved.
2. John Diel:
Speaking of politicians who love
to cheat on their wives, here’s John Diel, some guy who was the Missouri House Speaker. He’s not a big deal, honestly (I’M SORRY I COULDN’T RESIST).
He’s small potatoes in
the political world, but a sexting scandal is a sexting scandal, no matter how you cut it. So, how does he not understand sexting?
Well, he sexts with people aren’t his wife,
who should be the only person receiving his sexts.
Who is he sexting? Not some Twitter hoe like Weiner loved to do, but rather his intern, someone he sees everyday and has
to trust with a lot of confidential information .
I guess he trusts her, what with their little affair and all, but remember this- these hoes ain’t loyal! Well, neither is
he.
Back in May a screenshot of the sexts between Mr. Diel and the intern was leaked, tying the two together,
and Missouri had a little scandal on it’s hands.
Diel resigned the following day, and admitted his wrongdoing, although I’m sure his wife made sure he knew he wasn’t off the
hook, preferably by issuing him divorce papers and a hearty beating.
3. James Franco:
James Franco is always doing something odd, whether it’s writing some
of the worst poetry ever, making a weird movie, or he’s hitting up underage girls in Instagram - wait, what?
In case you didn’t hear about it, back in early Spring of 2014
James Franco got caught sending DM’s (direct messages) to an underage Scottish girl’s Insta account, who had gone to a show he performed on Broadway earlier that day. He was unaware
of her age, and honestly, he’s lucky word got out pretty fast.
Why? Well, the content of the messages was pretty tame, but it seemed like he was very thirsty for a lil’ somethin’.
If he had kept messaging her, who knows what would’ve happened, but if they had done anything, he would’ve had to say goodbye to his career (which already has questionable
standing as it is).
This wasn’t really a case of sexting, but it easily could have been. Franco didn’t know the girl was underage, but he never asked, so we can only guess
at what he would’ve done if he knew how old she was.
James Franco understands sexting,
but he doesn’t really understand boundaries or age limitations. To be honest, I don’t think he understands how he got to where he is today (and neither do we).
Franco dodged
a huge bullet here; now if only Hollywood could’ve dodged him…
4. Tiger Woods
Man, this one really hurt. Eldrick “Tiger” Woods was at the top of his game, winning
trophies seemingly every Sunday.
Then, in November of 2009, that all came crashing down as ‘The National Inquirer’ reported that Woods had had an affair with the manager of
a New York City nightclub manager. It didn’t take long for an extra dozen or so women to come out with their own stories of their affairs with Tiger, and golf fans everywhere made a
collective sigh.
Pretty soon the richest athlete in the world had lost most of his sponsors, except for Nike and Electronic Arts.
Tiger knows how to replicate his
golf swing over and over again without making one mistake, yet he can’t seem to figure out sexting. He clearly knows how to sext, but he forgot one major point:
it should only be done with people you trust.
Sexting is definitely not rated PG, and if any of messages get out, they’ll do some major damage to your reputation (and potentially
your marriage, as well); that’s why you should only sext with people you know won’t leak it or share it, aka your spouse.
Some random mistress won’t have a second thought when
detailing her affairs, and Tiger had around 18 mistresses, all with their own stories about their sexcapades together.
Sext only with people you trust, and never sext with
18 different people; that’s just being cavalier with your sex life. Come on Tiger, you know better!
5. Tea Leoni Actress Tea Leoni married actor David Duchovny back
in 1997, and it seemed like it was a happy celebrity marriage, as they always are. Everything was peachy until 2008, when it was made known to the public that the couple had been separated
for a couple months.
What caused the split? Well, two things: first, David found sexts from actor Billy Bob Thornton on Tea’s phone, and then we all found out about David’s
sex addiction.
In this case both partners cheated on each other, which makes it seem a lot better than it is. But it turns out that the only actual proof of cheating on either
side (that we know about) are the sexts on Leoni’s phone.
If you’re going to sext with someone who isn’t your partner, delete every message! It’s only a matter of time before
the truth is discovered.
People just don’t get it; they don’t sext with their wives or husbands, but rather with some random people who meant nothing more to them than sex.
Sexting is risky business, and you always need to do it with someone you can trust.
Your spouse is never going to share any sexts with anyone,
so just get down with them! You wouldn’t give your bank account password to someone you’re having an affair with, but you’d be much more willing give it to your spouse.
Basically,
if you’re over 40 years old, don’t sext. Just don’t.
You’re all awful at it and we always end up hearing about it all over the news, so do us all a favor and just have real
sex.
Damn.
old teammate, Brent Barry. Yeah, I don’t
really like him anymore either.
Some people just can’t keep it in their pants, let alone to themselves.
