When Flirting Becomes Sexting

  • sexting

    Exploring the thin line between flirtacious texts and outright sexting.

It’s always fun and exciting when you meet someone new. I’m not talking about an acquaintance or coworker, but rather, I’m talking about meeting someone you have a crush on or would like to date.

It feels great to have a connection with someone; sometimes you can’t put your finger on it, but you get the feeling that this person is in your life for a reason.

The whole pre-dating process is fun as well; getting to know them, feeling them out to see if they’re interested in you too, it’s all great (and can be incredibly confusing and frustrating, of course, but let’s not think about that).

Sometimes, though, we get a little confused and send the wrong message; this sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. Maybe you were a little forward with someone who isn’t that comfortable with you, or you weren’t “aggressive” enough to get with them.

With all relationships, communication is critical, but especially so with people you love and care for. You need to stay on the same page, which isn’t easy, especially when it’s with someone you met not too long ago.

Take flirting for example; it’s in the beginning stages of the relationship, where both of you are in the grey area between friends and people in a relationship together. Without meaning to, you could be too forward, not forward enough, send the wrong vibe, or any other kind of miscommunication.

It’s all confusing, and many people, myself included, have screwed up royally during this period. Relationships are hard, but the beginning is arguably one of the hardest parts.

Flirting isn’t hard, but it can be easy to mess up. If flirting isn’t your strong suit, all you need to do is follow along with whoever you’re talking to and match the style of their messages.

It’s pretty simple, but there’s one thing that might be more confusing; when does flirting become sexting? Maybe you’ve even had an experience like this, where you or the other person tried to transition from flirting to sexting, but it didn’t work very well or maybe you missed the cue to initiate sexting?

Well, I think it’s about time we break this down and figure out when flirting becomes sexting; the confusion is over, folks!

Now, the difference between flirting and sexting in terms of content are obvious, but it’s not always easy to sense when the time is right to move on from one stage to the next. It’ll be obvious when you see a dick pic or some boobs in your messages, but other than that it’s not very clear.

One difference between flirting and sexting is verb use. Flirting is more like, “your eyes are so beautiful”, while sexting is more like, “I’m going to do some nasty ass shit to you!”

If the content of the messages isn’t as blatantly sexual as that, you’re still in the flirting stages.

Let’s say you’ve been texting and hanging out with someone you like for a week or two. Should you keep flirting, or should get down and dirty and move on to sexting?

Well, it’s all relative to your relationship. Trust your instincts; they’re usually right.

If you’ve been flirting for a week or two, and getting to know one another, try to get a sense of where the relationship is going. If both of you are making moves to make the relationship official and you feel like you’re pretty into each other, you can give sexting a try, but be careful.

You can easily send the wrong message by not getting your timing right, so make sure the relationship calls for sexting. If you haven’t even kissed, then sexting is not the right move.

If you’ve hooked up a few times, including that one night you don’t remember, sexting is okay. Honestly, you’ve got yourself a friend with benefits and nothing else in that situation, so sexting gets the green light.

If you’re trying to date someone who is a bit more prude (for lack of a better word), flirting is the way to go; sexting will only scare them off.

What if you madeout with someone at a party and got their number? Can you jump right in and make it hot and heavy in the messages thread, or should you stick to flirting until things really heat up? Once again, it’s all relative.

In this case, flirting is the better option, as it’s failsafe, but if the person gave you a vibe that made them seem open to sexting right out of the gate, give it a try. It’s on your head, though, so be confident you’ll get a sext in return rather than a message telling you never to speak to them ever again. Think about it this way: flirting is kissing and sexting is, well… sex. If you feel like the relationship doesn’t call for sex at this stage, then sexting probably isn’t appropriate.

So when should you go from flirting to sexting? When your gut tells you it’s okay.

When should you kiss her? When your gut tells you it’s okay.

When should you tell him you love him? When your gut tells you it’s okay.

Listen to your instincts, and you’ll be okay.